Burp:   This is an increase in elevation that has just enough behind it to require more than grunting.  It's kind of a hill want-a-be.  Given enough time (geologically speaking) it may become one.

Bonking:  The energy meter is on empty.  You have pushed too hard and not bothered to replenish your energy stores.  You didn't drink any water, you didn't eat any food.  You have hit the wall.  You are done for the day.  Catch a bus or hail a cab back to the starting point and limp on home.  Perhaps a trip to the "Dark Side" would be in order here.

Chain Suck:   The annoying little habit your chain has of going too far.   Your chain has slipped off its gears and you can no longer pedal.  This can happen to front, rear, or both.  Generally caused by over shifting and improperly adjusted derailleur.  Generally causes frustration and a few choice words.

Climb:  Long, boring, seemingly never-ending increase in elevation.   This is not actually a hill, but a continuous "climb" from point A to point B.  The Cave or Tangerine...these are climbs.

Dark Side:  Screw the Bagels, I'm having a greasy burger. After some rides instead of breakfast, you can catch Kurt, Laurie, Steve, Bruce, I and others hanging at Frog or Ben's sucking grease and discussing the mechanics of carbonated beverages with the waitress. Man does not live by bagels along.  Some days the Dark Side is a necessity to regain sanity and serenity.  

Derf:   Idiot in a car paying no attention to driving it.  No all people in cars are "derfs"; just the ones who are oblivious to the cyclists and cut us off.  These would be the morons talking on cell phones, texting on cell phones, putting on make-up, tuning the radio or changing a CD.  Generally anyone in a car who doesn't understand the responsibility they have when they get behind the wheel

Flat: This is as easy as they are going to get folks.  No hills, rises or any other such nonsense.  If you are just starting out, these are the best rides to begin on.

Hiccups: Short and steep elevation increase.  but nothing you can't power over if you grunt just right.

Hills: Think Vertical...Mt Lemon, Kitt Peak, Mt Graham.  These are not rides for the novice.  If you are new to cycling, save yourself the pain and humiliation by not showing up for these rides.  You can bet Darian is going to hurt us.

Moderate: Not flat, but not bad.  There are likely to be a couple of short burps or hiccups and/or a couple of slow short rises.  Still a beginner ride.

Paceline: All our little bikes lined up in a row.  Riding this way allows you to get from point A to point B faster and gives you a chance to rest.  It really looks cool to the cars passing us too.

Ramping Up: What this is NOT is standing on the cranks and blasting through an intersection after a stop light turns green and topping 20 before you reach the other side.  This non-ramping appears to be sort of a "guy thing".  I guess its our little drag race fantasy.   Ramping up is a more gradual increase as the leader takes off from a stop so as to give the riders in the rear who are not paying attention ample opportunity to clip in and resume the ride in a group - like fashion.

Rise: Just enough of an elevation increase to screw up your pace and cadence These are not climbs like the Cave, but only short distances of small elevation change.  The return from 3-Points near Kinney road is a rise.

SDD: Standard DooDah Deviation - Plus or Minus 1 hour.  This is usually noted at the end of a return time. If the return time says 10, depending on the group, we may not be back till 11.  My return times a educated guesses on your leader's part.

Sag Rider: This is one of the leaders who is bringing up the rear and keeping the last rider company.  He makes sure we don't loose anyone.  He is the keeper of one of the walkie-talkies and if you have a bike problem, he will quickly become your best friend.

Saturday Rides: Saturday rides are about 18-25 miles in length and average about 12-14 mph.  We do not ride fast and we stop frequently to gather the masses.  The pace is kept slow so we can all talk and socialize; otherwise, it's just a bike and a road.  At no time will a rider be left alone at the end of the pack.  One of us will always lead and another will bring up the rear (affectionately called riding sag).  We start as a group, we end as a group.

Sucking Wheel: The idea here is to see how close you can get to the bike in front of you without actually kissing rubber while riding in a paceline.  The closer you are to the guy in front of you, the more draft and the easier it is for you the suckee.

Sunday Rides: Sundays are quicker paced (16-18 mph), longer rides (40+) with fewer stops (generally only 2 or 3).  These rides are for those who have been riding a little longer and want a good workout without the competitive atmosphere.  Sunday rides are not for beginners and it is assumed you can do the distance at the speed.  Occasionally we will tackle some of the tough rides like Mt. Lemmon for breakfast or Kitt Peak for fun (smile - after all, the top is only 12 miles away!).  So be prepared.

Toasted: Equate this to "Eat My Dust".  If you have been toasted, you were left behind when the rest of us felt the need to engage in speed on the flats or up a hill.  Just something to get the heart rate monitor up near the max limit

Unscheduled Ride: Your trusted leaders just decided they needed a workout.  This is not a ride for the faint at heart.  Average speed will be as fast as we can go.  All are welcome, but these are NOT beginner rides.  If you show up, it is assumed you are self-sufficient and know the are of riding a paceline.  We may or may not stop and wait for stragglers depending on who you are.  :-)

Wayne Time: 10 minutes later than you think it should be.

Weather Words: On Saturday rides, if the temperature is less than 40 degrees 30 minutes prior to ride time or it is raining, or any combination of crappy weather and Wildcat Basketball schedule conflicts, the official ride is cancelled.  One of the leaders will always be there, but will likely be in civvies, kicking back with a cup of hot joe and a cool book.  You are welcome to join him.   Sunday rides are a little different.  We will usually ride, within reason.  Hard rains, high winds, cold weather, snow are not our favorites.  We have nothing to prove by riding during this type of weather, so why do it.